A Strong Support-System: Why We All Need One



Are you familiar with the saying, "No man is an island"? How does it apply in your life?

Most of us are so busy making a life – raising kids, working, home building, partner-seeking, involved in community projects, some juggle school on top of everything else, etc – that we hardly have the time to pause for a breather. Living becomes hectic as we focus on OUR lives, OUR goals, OUR families, businesses and all that we have deemed to be important. 

So then what happens when we hit a roadblock and "life happens"? Who do we turn to when the need arises? Is it then that we realize that these BUSY lifestyles have somehow led to disconnected relationships with loved ones, with those who really matter? 

I would like to acknowkedge another group of people: those who commonly find themselves without much support, not because of something they did wrong, but because they are always that "go-to" person that everyone looks up to and leans on… so much so that their needs never seem to be a priority to others. It's not uncommon for leaders to find themselves in this position.  This reaffrms the common belief that success is a lonely road. 

Who do you turn to? Following are 4 reminders about establishing a solid good support system.

1. Be always aware that you need one. Sometimes in life we tend to think that we can handle it all, that we are capable of taking care of everything, and everyone … and somehow we don't stop to think, "Hey, how about me? Who am I leaning on? Who REALLY has my back?"

Yes self-sufficiency is great … but remember that no man can do it all by themselves. It is thus important to build loyal, trustworthy alliances with other leaders and successful partners who will stand by you no matter what. Mature leaders understand standing by one another. They also understand that honor and respect (regardless of what a person is going through) establish longevity in relationships, thus providing a strong support system. 

Nurture healthy relationships and avoid burning bridges. 

2. You're never alone. The #1 support system comes from our faith, which helps us believe as Christians that Christ is at our side all the time. He is that partner, and companion who stays when everyone else is no where to be found. 

Yes, you may sometimes feel "alone", but you must also be secure in knowing that your FAITH in the WORD is sufficient to make the seemingly impossible possible. This means that we must never lose hope. Knowing that all you can do is your best and God will take care of the rest is the champion's mindset. Regardless of what happens, you will be left standing because the bible in Mathew 7:24-25 says:

Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.

There is a power greater than us and faith connects us to that power, infusing our minds with the peace needed to forge on in moments of difficulty. Nobody wins all the time, what is all too important is how we get back up and keep moving during trying times. 

Faith imparts hope … and without hope all is lost. Hence it is important to develop faith that sustains us in every circumstance. Faith is easily bred when we learn to give thanks in every situation, when we find the positive in every experience and take life's lessons in stride.

3. Tap into the insurance of 'Giving'! On this journey called life, we attract like-minded people … either because they have similar dreams, share common goals, or are drawn by the appeal of our brands.

Successful people tend to be givers and up-lifters. When we learn to direct our attention away from ourselves to others, we become 'richer' spiritually. Givers focus on how they can contribute to someone else's success, on how to make life easier for others – not just in words, but in action.

The magic of giving happens because when we sow good seeds into people's lives, others sow even better seeds into our lives. When we give, we contribute into a heavenly insurance policy that ensures that we live in an abundance of happiness and fulfillment all our days. This in itself is a powerful support system – the fact that your security is guaranteed because of seeds you have sown in heavenly places through actions of giving. 

4. Pick up the phone and call somebody! We tend to retreat into our shells when facing challenges in life, mainly because we are afraid to expose our vulnerabilities or are embarrassed to expose the chinks in our shinny armor.

While I agree that most people we turn to during trying times will be secretly happy about our trials, and may turn away when we need them most, it never hurts to try. Calling up a friend you trust, and discussing what you're going through is good medicine.

Everyone goes through tough times at some point… EVERYONE. This becomes obvious as we study the lives of successful people. This quote by George Santayana comes to mind, "For gold is tried in the fire and acceptable men in the furnace of adversity." Embrace these challenges and wear the scars of life's bruises proudly as you become wiser. Do not be embarassed, like minded people have been there and they understand. Reach out to the right people. There is always someone ready and willing to help.

It was Winston Churchill who said, "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."

Cheers to your success. 

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1 Comment

  1. I needed to read this, at this time in my life Lema!!! Keep doing what you are doing!

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